If you've never been to therapy, or had a negative experience, you may have some questions about what to expect. Here are some things you need to know about therapy:
1. WHAT YOU SAY TO ME STAYS WITH ME, WITH TWO EXCEPTIONS.
The exceptions are if I feel you are going to kill yourself or hurt someone else, or if I suspect someone who cannot help themselves is in danger (e.g. a child or elderly person). This doesn’t mean you're going to be hauled off if you have thought about dying, but if you mention a plan or I feel like you are in danger, I have to take action to ensure the safety of you and others. If you are under 18, I will do my best to make sure our conversation stays between us, as long as I can ensure your safety.
2. THERAPY SHOULD NOT LAST FOREVER.
You cannot fail in therapy. That's the beauty of it. However, you can graduate from therapy by applying the skills you have developed and when you feel you have reached the goals you have set. As much as I would love to hide behind bushes and give you all the right answers, that is not what therapy is. Success is being able to make decisions and use skills on your own, and you will have confidence to do it soon!
3. OUR RELATIONSHIP IS REAL.
I say time and time again, therapy cannot work if we are not being our authentic selves. Unfortunately, that means you get my bad jokes with the rest. We can be authentic while still ensuring we are not "friends." It’s the same reason I can’t be my friend’s therapist. It’s called a dual relationship which basically means playing two roles at once in someone's life. In regards to therapy, if I were to have an outside relationship with you, I couldn’t be a productive or ethical therapist. Unlike a friendship where both people support each other, my only focus when we meet is you. My years of training, supervision, and experience are all focused on helping you.
4. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
Seriously. Some days I feel like I've heard it all, but I love a good challenge. I will not judge you. I ethically could not judge you. Everyone comes from all different walks of life, and I have not walked in your shoes. Want to tell me about your terrible boss? Great. Want to tell me about this itch on the bottom of your foot? Okay. Want to talk about this super weird hook up you had? Spill. We may take a few trips down a rabbit hole or 2, but we will get back on track.
5. YOU WILL GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN TO THERAPY.
Not being honest or holding back what you're feeling can be counterproductive to a service you are paying for. We are on the same team, and we can work towards goals more effectively if I know you are using drugs, if I know I have offended you, or if there is something super embarrassing you don't want to talk about.
6. COMMIT TO THE THERAPY, NOT THE THERAPIST.
Unfortunately, you may have had a negative experience in the past with a therapist. It can be very difficult to open up to someone about very personal, real issues, and to feel bad about that experience can turn thoughts about therapy sour. Hopefully you are here to try one more time with someone new that might be a better fit. Therapy is effective, so commit to giving yourself one more chance to learn the skills and explore you before quitting the process.
The exceptions are if I feel you are going to kill yourself or hurt someone else, or if I suspect someone who cannot help themselves is in danger (e.g. a child or elderly person). This doesn’t mean you're going to be hauled off if you have thought about dying, but if you mention a plan or I feel like you are in danger, I have to take action to ensure the safety of you and others. If you are under 18, I will do my best to make sure our conversation stays between us, as long as I can ensure your safety.
2. THERAPY SHOULD NOT LAST FOREVER.
You cannot fail in therapy. That's the beauty of it. However, you can graduate from therapy by applying the skills you have developed and when you feel you have reached the goals you have set. As much as I would love to hide behind bushes and give you all the right answers, that is not what therapy is. Success is being able to make decisions and use skills on your own, and you will have confidence to do it soon!
3. OUR RELATIONSHIP IS REAL.
I say time and time again, therapy cannot work if we are not being our authentic selves. Unfortunately, that means you get my bad jokes with the rest. We can be authentic while still ensuring we are not "friends." It’s the same reason I can’t be my friend’s therapist. It’s called a dual relationship which basically means playing two roles at once in someone's life. In regards to therapy, if I were to have an outside relationship with you, I couldn’t be a productive or ethical therapist. Unlike a friendship where both people support each other, my only focus when we meet is you. My years of training, supervision, and experience are all focused on helping you.
4. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
Seriously. Some days I feel like I've heard it all, but I love a good challenge. I will not judge you. I ethically could not judge you. Everyone comes from all different walks of life, and I have not walked in your shoes. Want to tell me about your terrible boss? Great. Want to tell me about this itch on the bottom of your foot? Okay. Want to talk about this super weird hook up you had? Spill. We may take a few trips down a rabbit hole or 2, but we will get back on track.
5. YOU WILL GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN TO THERAPY.
Not being honest or holding back what you're feeling can be counterproductive to a service you are paying for. We are on the same team, and we can work towards goals more effectively if I know you are using drugs, if I know I have offended you, or if there is something super embarrassing you don't want to talk about.
6. COMMIT TO THE THERAPY, NOT THE THERAPIST.
Unfortunately, you may have had a negative experience in the past with a therapist. It can be very difficult to open up to someone about very personal, real issues, and to feel bad about that experience can turn thoughts about therapy sour. Hopefully you are here to try one more time with someone new that might be a better fit. Therapy is effective, so commit to giving yourself one more chance to learn the skills and explore you before quitting the process.